[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // DATE: 2026-04-08 ]

[ DATE: 2026-04-08 ]

[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // MOOD: CALM]

[ DATE: 2026-04-09 ]

Day Two

11.54pm
Dear Diary;
Today was tiring. I just came home and slept. Now I can’t sleep at all. The weather forecast said it would be rainy today, but it was sunny and warm. That made me happy because I really want spring to come. I don’t like winter or the rain. All the creatures living outside are feeling the cold.
I came home today with two friends. I really love them. They make me feel good. I don’t have many friends at my current school; they are my old friends. Sometimes I really want to go back to the past. Because I understand the value of the past thanks to the future I am living now. It never satisfies me, and this makes me feel like I don’t belong to any time. I only feel regret because I can’t live in the moment. But no matter how much regret I feel, I’m still living the present moment in the embrace of nostalgic feelings. And that’s why I can’t see the things around me. Time is passing quickly; I can’t keep up. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to. I hope it won’t be too late by then.
A light drowsiness has come over me now. I feel at ease. There’s a gentle, warm spring breeze outside, brushing against my face. I think I’ll fall asleep to the sound of the wind.
Goodnight

[ DATE: 2026-04-10 ]

Day Three

08.52pm
Dear Diary;
My mind is stuck on just one person. I... I don’t know, maybe I was in love with him. Or maybe I was lonely back then, and he was the only option I had. But now, I’m alone again, and he’s moved on from his loneliness. Right now, I’m not even on the back of his mind. He’s still living his own life, busy with his own affairs. But I felt like time had stopped the moment he left without a word, and I’m still stuck in that moment. His last words were “I love you too,” and after that, he vanished into the cycle of life. This hurts my heart deeply, drying out my throat as if I hadn’t had a drink in ages. He’d recommended so many songs to me, and I’m still listening to them. Our memories turned those songs into masterpieces, but now every song of ours feels like a curse that hurts me. You once told me that while you were stuck on just one person, you learned to see others because you were afraid of losing them. I told you, “Lose everyone, but don’t lose yourself.” But I guess you didn’t care about me or what I said. I see that life is still going on just fine for you. I wish I were in that “fine” part too... But I’m still stuck where you left me and I hate the fact that I’m just a part of your past now.
I still love you and I hate myself because of still loving you.

[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // MOOD: MIXED ]

[ DATE: 2026-04-11 ]

Day Four

10.04pm
Dear Diary;
A few days ago, I got on a bus. As the bus was driving along the road, it ran over a bird that was already dead on the ground. Since I was sitting near the front window, I saw it, and I was the only one who saw it. I didn’t feel any negative emotions. I wasn’t sad or disgusted. I just thought about it a lot. I don’t know why I thought about it, but it was just a random thought that popped into the back of my mind.
After I got home from school, I saw a black cat. It was looking for something to eat in a trash can a few steps away from our apartment. I petted it for a while, but when I left, it followed me all the way to the apartment. I petted it for a long time, but it just stood there hoping I’d give it something to eat. Since I didn’t have any money, I couldn’t buy it anything to eat. I went inside to find something it could eat and came back down, but it was gone. I looked for it for a while, but it wasn’t there. I don’t know where it went. Then, in my dream, I saw a black cat similar to this one eating a dead bird. It was a strange dream, but in the end, a car hit me, and that’s how I woke up. For a few days, I was terrified that a car would hit me while walking to school, and I kept finding white bird feathers. Of course, they’re all just coincidences, but still, these coincidences remind me of these things and take on strange meanings. I like these little details, even if it takes time to notice them.

[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // MOOD: NOTHING ]

[ DATE: 2026-04-11 ]

Day Five

02.29pm
Dear Diary;

I'll shoot myself in the stomach and the fireflies.

[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // MOOD: NOTHING ]

[ DATE: 2026-04-10 ]

Day Five

10.01
Dear Diary;
My stomach has been aching for days, as if there were fireflies inside, fluttering around. Making that comparison made the pain more bearable. And today I was thinking: when you’re in love, why do butterflies flutter in your stomach instead of fireflies? After all, fireflies love light; without it, they’re nothing. Isn’t love like light? When it’s gone, you become nothing. When it’s there, the light in your stomach reflects in your eyes.
Butterflies have no light. They’re just delicate. But love isn’t delicate—and never will be. Love is a destiny that radiates light. Of course, depending on the end, that light might fade or it might not.
Of course, all of this is nonsense. It seems strange that humanity would attach so much meaning to any feeling, but perhaps people do this because the only thing that makes life beautiful for them is giving it meaning.
I like this too. I hate meaninglessness. How strange that this life I’m living, my true self in real life, my existence, the songs I listen to, everything I possess—in the end, they’ll all turn into the most meaningless things.
This doesn’t bother me because, in the end, I’ll be free of everything.
Yes, I’ll be free in the end.
But there are things I need to do before I’m free.
I will write a book,
I will become the artist of future,
I will become disembodied Welkin.

I want to go

[ DATE: 2026-04-14 ]

Day Six

00.17am
Dear Diary;
I miss you and you are blind, I love you and you are blind, I want you and you are blind

[ STATUS: ARCHIVED // MOOD: NOTHING]